A Reason To Live
by aRIyUKi of tHE sNoW
Summary: Judai Yuki has been suffering from massive depression since he returned from the alternate dimensions, fused with Yubel. Will an accident make him want to die or give him a reason to survive? A Oneshot story and a OCC.


Ari Yuki- Hey guys! Thank for deciding to that a look at my fanficiton! The format is a little weird so let me explain it before you get really confused! The story is in Judai's perspective so when the font is normal, the words represent him talking to the reader. When the font is **bold, **then the words are being spoken by someone else to Judai and when the words are _italicized _Judai is talking to someone. Alright! Now that you know that, you're already to read! Enjoy!

Judai's Perspective

I'm sitting in my room, by myself of course, blinds drawn, huddled in a corner with my head between knees, feeling like crap. Again. I pull an open bottle of Diet CokeÓ over to my mouth, but I miss completely and soda dribbles down my chin on to the floor. But hey, what do I care? I reach over besides myself, fish around for a bottle cap and close my pop. My breath starts feeling heavy and I pant loudly for air. I feel sick to my stomach and force myself to swallow. I hate this. Just minutes ago, I was outside, outside of this dark cage that sucks me inside itself, with the people I call my friends. The people who I destroyed; the people who I lost and found again; the people who stuck by my side in my time of need. I was happy with them, I think. I was a different person outside these doors just now. So why am I sitting here, laying up against the wall of my dorm, despondent? I have no idea. I force myself to my knees, then slowly lift myself up and stumble my way over to my medicine cabinet. I dig around inside for a vial, filled with little white miracle workers and down a couple CymbaltaÓ. I rip off my shirt and switch it for a fresh one, throw on a clean jacket and plaster a smile on my face as I step out into the light. As I head down the staircase, my phone chimes. It's Asuka-chan. I hesitate. Should I pick up? I hit Ok and answer the phone. _Hey. What's up? _**Oh! Judai-Kun. I didn't think you would pick up. **_Uh…yeah so what do you need?_ **Um… I was just asked to confirm whether you were coming to the graduation meeting…**Oh yeah. The meeting. I had totally forgotten. Does it really matter to me that much? **Judai… It's fine if you aren't up to it…**_Asuka..._ I pause. I can't do this to her again. She always worries about me but lets it slide, and I hate it when she gets like that. Because I can tell she hurts inside. _Asuka…I'll be there. The lecture room, right? _**Yeah! Uhhh.. See you there! **_Sure. And we can hang out after words in my room. Kay? _**Yup. Later Judai-Kun. **I turn off my phone and look out to the sea, that lies under the ground I stand on, underneath my dorm, my escape route. I could leave right now; I could swim off, far away, into the horizon, but right now, I suddenly don't want to. I start walking through the forest path to school. The vines in the grass pull on my legs, as if they're trying to drag me back to my room. Kicking them off with one foot, hauling my body with the other, I stumble through. My stomach still churns and my lungs long for air but the more I clutch and wheeze, the worse I feel. Suddenly, I feel my heart jolt and I crumble to my knees. What the heck? I try to pick myself back up but the ground pulls me down into a dark hole. I can't see straight; in fact, I can't really see that much at all. My heart is pounding; my throat is closing up; I have no clue what's happening to me. Could it be that I'm dying? Seems too absurd to be true, but what else could it be? What should I do? I can't feel my arms or legs, so I can't move. Should I scream? Do I want anyone to find me? Do I want anyone…do I want to die? The words cut through me like a knife. Die, me…die, really die? I suddenly realize how stupid I sound. I don't have a choice. If I'm about to die, there's nothing I can do, can I? A snicker forms in my breast but I can't seem to let it out. I guess it's all over then, huh? Everything suddenly went black and I could feel my chest sink to the ground. **Judai? Is that you down there? Oh my gaww****...****Are you okay! Ahhh! Sho! Manjoume! Come here quickly! **Sho? Manjoume? And that voice...was that Asuka? I'd think about it longer but...I'm...not...going to...last…

**Judai-kun! Judai-kun! Wake up man! Please!** My head hurts. I open my eyes as much as I can and all I can see is bright white light. The voices keep calling out to me but they're too muffled to hear straight. I use my left arm too push my body upright, clutching my stomach with my other hand. I force my eyes to stay open and I look around me. I'm in an infirmary bed and sitting around me are… Asuka? Sho? Manjoume?Ayukawa-senpai? What's going on? Sho grabs my shoulders and tears fill in his eyes as he screams at me.** Are you ok, Aniki? What the heck were you doing? Wandering around in the forest, then just passing out on all of us? What would have happened if Asuka hadn't found you? HUH? Well? **Asuka-chan starts to cry. **Don't yell at him Sho****...**** It's all my fault****...**** I called him out here****...**** I'm so sorry Judai! **Manjoume placed his hand on Asuka's shoulder and cast a deathly glare at me. **That's some trick you pulled just then. You overdosing freak. **Overdosing what? What the heck is he talking about? I ask him. Ayukawa-senpai sighs sadly and sits down on the side of my bed. She can't look me straight the eye for some reason. **Judai****...**She says sternly, **Were you trying to kill yourself? **What? Confusion paints the expression of my face. Asuka starts to cry and Sho and Manjoume look away. Ayakawa looks me square in the eye though. **Judai kun… Did your heart start pounding while you were in the forest? And did your whole body fell like lead? **I nodded.** You just suffered a reaction of overdose. So I ask again, did you try and kill yourself? **I'm still lost in thought to answer. I never overdosed I swear! I never... Oh My Gawwd! Before I left my room! I took a Cymbalta, some Cymbalta... What the heck? How many did I take? I didn't even check the label! How could I be so stupid! It was all a big mistake! Thank God I didn't die… then I remember what I told myself as I was passing out. Did I care that I was dying? Or was I relieved? I glimpse over at everyone. Asuka, Sho and Manjoume found me, brought me here and stayed with me. And I know if others knew what happened to me they would have checked on me too. They forgave and ignored all the sins I committed. I caused them pain but they stuck by my side to comfort me. Isn't that a good enough reason to live? I smile, get up out of bed and stand next to Sho, facing Ayukawa and Asuka. _No... It was just a mistake. Sorry to freak you all out guys. _I hug Sho and Asuka runs over to embrace me too. Manjoume smirks a little. I hold my head up as high as it can go and laugh to the ceiling. Why would I ever leave this life? I have a reason! A reason to live! And that reason is inside you….

*************************************Please Review!***********************************************************************


End file.
